These past days all I have been listening to its Burger Queen by Placebo. There something so endearing, sweet and melancholic about this song. I don’t really know why I can’t seem to stop listening to it… The problem with doing this is that I always end up getting so sick of the songs that I cannot longer appreciate what made them special in the first place. Yesterday my grades were finally posted. I got all B’s with the exception of math (I got an A). I am quite please and proud of myself. My hard work paid off in the end. I was also forced to go to the doctor by my mother and he have me some antibiotics. They have help to alleviate my cough of doom but I been feeling quite down and weak. However, yesterday I still gathered whatever energy I had left and went to my psychologist appointment. I don’ know if it does much good seeing him anymore. He is great, a bit out there but great nevertheless. The problem is that my problems are always the same and although he has provided some helpful insight…well, there isn’t much left to say. In order to alleviate my social anxiety, I need to get more out there. If I want to meet someone who is more similar to me, I also need to do this. So, I guess it is more a matter of putting that into practice which I have, to some extent. I am still debating if I should continue seeing him or not. There doesn’t seem to be any point if I am going to keep repeating the same things and him the same answers (worded differently) or nothing at all. It is quite frustrating… haha. I don’t even know why I bother to write about this but whatever. Besides from that I have not done much, hardly anything at all. My life is lacking luster lately. There is really not much to do in crappy, small town Corpus Christi. Well, there is if you are into the ocean and tanning. Something I am really NOT fond of. I am naturally tan enough, damn it. Even the web is starting to bored me lately. I used to be so into the internet and now…well, it’s getting pretty lame. Don’t get me wrong, I still spend unhealthy amounts of time on it but blah. I don’t even know what or how I been feeling lately. All that I know is that something interesting (good interesting) needs to happen soon otherwise I may just lose my mind.

Till next time lovelies 

I know that they are so many other things I should be focusing my attention on like school …and yes, that basically sums it up pretty well. This issue has been bothering me for the past weeks since angel of beauty reappeared in my life. Okay, to be truthful, maybe even before that…

Everyday, I don’t fail to see (especially at school) a pretty couple walking past me. It appears as if everybody has a special somebody BUT me. I know I am being irrational. However, when you are bombarded by images of people being mushy with each other well, it’s hard not wanting some of that. Perhaps, it’s my fault that I am single since I am so damn picky and shy. I don’t think I am that much of a freak of nature though. Many other people must share my same qualities. Yet, they seem to be able to lead normal lives and have an actual romantic life (assuming that they are others like me). What is normal anyways? I don’t know, but damn this situation is fucking me up. All kinds of thoughts run through my minds; I am too ugly, intimidating looking or/and freaky. To be truthful, I don’t find myself particularly attractive which is kind of contradicting to the narcissistic nature I insist I posses. That is just fake confidence, something to hide how I truly feel about myself. These past days, I have been talking a lot to my mom about this issue. She told me that I have to first accept myself in order to be able to have a relationship. And even thought it sucks to hear that, I completely agree with her. How do I expect anybody to like me if I hate myself?  Quoting Marilyn Manson in “Use Your Fist and Not Your Mouth”:

I woke up today and wished for tomorrow 
I don't want to be like anyone else 
I woke up today and wished for tomorrow 
I don't want even be myself 

I know, simplistic and straightforward quote. But, damn sometimes those are the most meaningful ones, moving on.

 This feeling does not disappears; it’s still present eating my soul away. This longing for someone to love…

The longing has become even stronger since angel of beauty reappeared in my life. Every time I look at him my heart beats a million times per second. The world stops and my brain cease to function. It’s irrational, it’s stupid and it has no validation since he is a complete stranger. As far as I know he does not even know I exist. Sometimes the heart wins over rationality and it appear this is the case.

Perhaps, it’s time for me to face the truth; I am never going to find my special one. I was just not meant to be love and to love in return. I go back to my original theory some people are born to be love while others like me are just not. 

 
The younger years.

I will start with this lovably picture I didn’t even recalled having. I look like a true gangta. I’m fly homeboy.

 I have a terrible infatuation with making ugly faces.I’m so glad I actually improved somewhat with age.

 Horrifying! I  don’t know why I though it would be a good idea to take a picture after eating a granola bar  if I knew food got stuck in my braces.Damn…

 The “newer” pictures. By new I mean they were taken around late 07, 08 and 09! :

 
I really don’t know why I took this picture in the first place. But, I do know one thing; boredom makes you do strange things.

 
Borders is where is at.

 
It was late. We did not even had any kind of mind altering substance in us.Kinda sad,huh?

I’m a tiger.I’m a weirdo.

 My latest picture.Yeah,I have not learn my lesson.

 


Till nex time my sweet and ever so lovably bitches.

Well, its official 2008 will come to an end in exactly two hours. Oh the pain, the depression! I am so motherfucking sad it's ending...HAHAHA, right. Of course I am joking.2008 was the shittiest year ever in the history of my 19 saggy years. I have not even bothered to make any resolutions since it's truly a waste of time.
At any rate, instead of living it up, getting wasted, pimping my hoes' and just being the badass pimp I usually not am, I'm writing this. I had the pleasure to go out for dinner earlier with my sexy mom, which is hardcore enough for me. Not really, but I'm a soon non teenager stuck in an old woman body. No shame in admitting that, hell I am still pimping. I am going to stop with the gansgta shit since I am far from it and sound like an idiot. I am also rambling but its fun.
Back to bitching about 2008, if I was a positive person I would try to think my hardest about what made this year good and fun but alas I am not. I like the word alas, I don't even know if I am using it correctly but it sounds so cool and grown up. Do you know that alas means wings in Spanish? Yeah, how motherfucking cool is that? VERY! I know. Where was I? Oh yeah, I am relief to see this year end.2009 seems like a fresh start away from the bitch 2008 was. I can be whatever I want. Drink the blood of pink ponies, continue being inspired by trannies, actually becoming a tranny minus the penis situation, etc.Oh, sometimes I scare myself , I am truly a deep and sensitive soul.

Yesterday I was looking through my pictures and I discover that I truly have changed a lot these past years. But, that's normal. I guess it's the little thing we call growing up... getting older and saggier.In twenty six days I will be turning 20 years old.WTF? Soon enough I will be 60,wearing a crazy zebra printed coat, living with a bunch of puppies(have to be a bit more original than the usual cat lady) as a replacement for a husband( minus the bestiality,you sickos).Kids will be running away from me and my hair will be color cotton candy pink. But seriously, I guess if anything, I should be a bit less apathetic about life. A bit more carefree, ya know? That's not a resolution though so don't be thinking "hahaha, she just contradicted herself!"...See, I am realistic and know that well, I am a bitter, cynical person. That's how I roll. They are a bunch of happy people out there; there needs to be a dark side too.

So, there was no point whatsoever behind this blog and hardly anyone reads this shit but fuck it. I was bored and decided to write so I could practice my English that keeps getting worse by the second since I become a monk. If you read this far, I must congratulated you. You have a high tolerance for shitty quality writing *high five*.



To add to the gayness, this was me back in 2006:





Gay graduation picture. That's the only picture I have left (on this computer) in which I have long ghetto hair.

Then I went to this in 2007:




I though it look really badass back then. Now…yeah not so much. Plus, that shit fuck up my hair BAD.



2008:




This is as normal looking as I think I can get(yeah, I did not resize the picture.Enjoy staring at my sublime face), SEXY TIMES! Not, really but hey, I like quoting Borat.What a craptastic pictures the iphone takes,huh?

And just for the fuck of it:






My latest obsession, Brian Molko. Yes, I am aware Christmas is over but I like the reindeer thingies so fuck you for not liking them. You insensitive soul!!!

The energy was so high! The crowd got especially wild during the first four songs. The technology they used  made the ambient BEAUTIFUL. At first, I though that all those lasers and stealth screens were going to distract me. But, it truly complimented their performance, made it even more intense. The band did such a good job too. Robin kept having trouble with his guitar but it did not even faced them.JMJ played the bass with such intensity. Plus, he has a rocking fro, what more can you ask for?!  Trent's performance of Hurt was sublime. The emotions he irradiated, put a kid who was next to me in tears. He kept repeating in awe,wow, this is Trent Reznor… it was just mind blowing. After all of these years, Trent still has the power to move masses. Everybody was singing along, and all of our voices became one... Through out the performance, I was rocking out so hard, I felt like a fucking Mexican jumping bean. Trent talked a bit to the audience after "The Hand that Feeds." He said that after spending a bit of time in South America and Mexico it was good to be back. And since they used a "lovably" picture of Bush and McCain, he also said that he hoped to stop using that fucking video after the elections. All I have to say to that is oh, Trent, I hope so too (sorry, Republicans).Anyways, I took a few crappy pictures because I was too busy dancing and shit. But, I shall posted them anyways.When the concert finally ended I was sad it was over but tremendously happy, I had the opportunity to experience such an amazing performance. I left with an even deeper profound respect for Trent. Friday, I was amaze that after being like a mad women I was not sore at all…oh, but the pain came Saturday, my ribs, arms, EVERYSINGLEPARTOFMYSUBLIMEBODY,hurt like a mothafucking bitch. And you know what? It was all so worth it. Before I  forget, for those who care  to know  about the shallow yet ever so necessary details; yes, Trent and Rob are SO MUCH FUCKING HOTTER IN PERSON. Yes, I said it, if you don't like it… suck it. Here are the crappy pics I took:

Hello my sweet bitches! Today while sitting at home watching some good old fIsTfUcKiNg, I decided to write a blog. I know, pretty damn exciting times. You are probably jumping up and down or having a love explosion. I will give you a minute to compose yourself and clean the mess …yikes.

I came back to school on August 27 after a long break in which my main focus consisted of eating and hanging out with Manola my BFF. When I was finally forced to face the sun for more than 10 minutes due to school, I came to the conclusion that I hate fucking summer!  Tell me, what is soo appealing about it? Besides from the obvious facts, birds sing and butterflies fly. Oh, plus it gives a reason for girls to  dress slutty and for guys to show their ass crack.

Seriously, every time I step outside I feel like a pig that is roasting slowly with an apple in its mouth. Do you want to know what else bother the fuck out of me? Well since I can't hear you, I will pretend you said "oh yes, sexy Consuelito, I want to know. Please, oh don't you hide this from us. Through your writing I clearly see the answers to all the mysterious of the world".

Okay here we go, sit down, is okay hommie-g; people that tan!!!  See, let me explain myself a bit better before I get lynch. I dislike people who tan in excess. Looking like a carrot is not hot, no, no it's not. Especially the contrast between whitish hair and bright orange skin.

***Once again using my highly advance software I edited this pic a bit due to naked boobies and v-jayjay.

Mmm, deliciousness. Please people don't lie to yourselves. I know you are questioning your sexuality (if you are a girl ,gay guy or monkey) if you find this scrumptious specimen attractive.

How easy we slip once we see what true beauty is all about huh?

I'm joking by the way. HA!

At any rate, putting the tanorexic people aside. I wish I lived were it was permanently cold. Since I gave up on the idea of bleaching my skin to make it pale. I decided I would conform if I could forever maintain the yellowish sickly color I get during winter. Yeah…  anyways since this isn't happening in the near future. All I have to say is fuck, goddamn, motherfucking bitch, only because it looks cool on Microsoft Word.  

So the point of this ramble was:

A: I hate hot weather

B: I cannot wait for Winter, so I can stop taking showers for a week and not smell!!!

C: Your mom is gay, so is  my mom. I mean this as in happy of course!

D: I was bored and got tired of Manola.

Till next time my darlings! 

Today while browsing Youtube I came across some Slipknot videos. Now I am not going to write smack about Slipknot, sorry buddies it ain't gonna happen.

Slipknot is a fucking awesome band there is no point in denying that. By the way, I have no tolerance, my recommendation is that you smile and nod your head. Wowowowowow Slipknot maggots 4 life!!!!  At any rate, despite of that, I am not sure if fellow female fans (some males to) are seeing the same people as me:

Is it clear they are nine members all covering their faces with masks? You cannot, I repeat you cannot see their faces right? For god sakes they even go by numbers!! If you are not delusional and agree with master Consuelito (once again don't you ever call me that, you shall perish if you do. Thank you. ) why the fuck are girls calling them "hot"? Seriously now, what makes them good looking? I clearly cannot see it. I understand admiring them because of their contribution to the music industry. Especially now days since music is so fucking shitty, but thinking they are some Adonis…

Does the spiky mask make you wet? How about that clown mask? I'm sure it has always been a childhood dream to rape one. Right? Lick and play with that red nose, uh la la you are a kinky one!

 Pure nonsense, UNLESS you are part of that delusional group. If you are, please explain to me what makes them so spicy hot, pretty please? I swear I am bored enough to read what makes them so tasty…agh.

UPDATE: Through a very reliable resource (Google my BFF!)  I found out that the members of Slipknot have actually shown their face… Fuck!

So here they are:

Mmm he is sexay:

And the rest:

Okay so I wasn't totally wrong!  Using my high technology I point it out who I think is tasty. One dude out of the whole band is sexy the rest … yeah not so much. By the way is it just me or the guy on the right looks like a Cholo? Wtf!!!!

It all comes down to the fact, they are talented musicians; their looks have no effect over that. Yet I still don't understand how those girls find them "hot". Unless they are all cheering for Corey, then I guess it makes a bit of sense.

Peace out sweet bitchanesss till later.

Once again I felt the urge to fry everyone's brain (or anybody who is bored enough to read this shit anyways) with the knowledge I have acquire during my college year… Well let me sum it up for ya, NOTHING! Okay, fine maybe I'm lying trying to sound all badass and shit. You caught me, bu bu you want a chocolate chip or a sugar cookie. Shit to bad I don't have any so lets move on. Since I'm sure you do not want to read this sappy shit, "college made me learn about myself, now I am a completely different person blah blah" Let me talk ( agh write ) about the wonderful true knowledge everybody should know before embarking into the dark world of college life( nevermind that bullshit,this is probably useless but I'm bored so fuck it).

Here we go wonderful guide by master Consuelito( don't ever call me that, or I will chop your head off… mentally of course):

1-If you were a dumbfuck like me and went to a college that basically only three people went to (okay I'm exaggerating a little more like four) the internet will become your best friend. Hello porn, good bye real life!

2-Remember you may hate them, is alright they probably hate you to! But that is no reason to let them know. Play along   you may get them in a class, time to use your charm and like a true friend copy their answers! Remember two brains work better than one (she/he does the work you copy simple!). Plus you don't want to be the weird kid in the corner…No, no you don't.

3-If you dorm and hear weird moaning sounds, first make sure it doesn't come from your computer (there is always a possibility you left your porn on!). I know it comes as a big shock those beast are having sexy times  but hey we all need some loving( not me actually, I'm asexual) .Try to not picture them getting their freak on and as an advice use  flip flops if you share a restroom with them… Don't question it, just do it…

4-Watch your step at the parking lot … Condoms and dirty thongs with random white stains will be present…

5-If your university is in the ghetto do not get into fights, remember you are in the G-H-E-T-TO. They hate you and most likely carry guns so be a nice little piggy to them.

6-Molding brownies into  poo shape and putting them in the middle of the hallway is always fun.

7-Finally sometimes sleeping till 3 in the morning is helpful to discover  that the guy you like along with others are peeing on someone's car while screaming in a really Mexican way. Oh those precious moments, I will forever treasure in my heart.

I could go on and on about the many things I learn which I will never ever put into practice but I won't. I'm sure you guys still may want some of your brain cells available.The true is I did meet some pretty nice people at that school ( not enough, I'm transferring to another school).You guys know who you are, thanks for  being good pals…Plus I had a rocking roommate; Michelle my white chocolate I love you. Just because of you, I kept my sanity( well what was left of it anyways!).

Oh here is the thong:

Very nice!

 Whoever is wasting his/her time reading this shit (you must be really bored huh?) may be thinking wtf? a celebration?  Okay you crazy bitch…Yes I am totally semi-serious there is no point in mourning Kurty’s death. He has been death for 14 years, no matter how much you invoke his spirit (which I totally haven’t done…) he will never come back to live. Instead of crying and slashing your wrist, well let’s celebrate!!!! OHHHUHH FUCKINGPARRRTY!!!!!

Let’s remember the men for what he did best: music (besides from being beautiful, sexy, sublime) .The man is a revolutionary legend, an icon that will never be forgotten (I’m sure all of you know that though…. Right? Hopefully, yeah just smile and nod your head!) .I could go on and on about the things I like about Kurt but I’m way to fucking lazy plus I don’t have all day so fuck it. What I will do is list some tips on how to celebrate Kurt’s 14 anniversary. 

Consuelo’s tips on how to celebrate Kurty,Kurt  anniversary on April 5:

1. Since my brain is too fucking fried due to the endless hours I spend in from of the computer watching porn… Let’s do the typical, wear your NIRVANA shirt along with your Kurt’s underwear … there you go that is the spirit!
2. Blast your favorite NIRVANA song and sing it with your eyes close (I’m I the only one that does this? oh yeah DON’T ATTEMP THIS WHILE DRIVING!)
3.  Nag your friends to get into the spirit; if they completely refuse is time to use their little dirrrty secret and blackmail them (The end justifies the means plus I’m sure Kurt would be oh so proud!).
4. If tip number three doesn’t work because you are so hardcore (pssss loser) and you don’t have any friends….is alright! But hey I have a solution , go around singing NIRVANA  and telling strangers about this wonderful, historic date .WARNING: this may cause people to stare at you ( most likely thinking you are  a psycho) don’t worry is all good they are just glad they are not related it to you!
5. Last but most important forget about all the wacky theories surrounding Kurt’s death. Think about what the men accomplish; bringing true, raw music to our beautiful ears (plus the fall of fucking hair metal, especially those fuckers of Guns & Roses. How long does it take to make an album? Another 20 years jajajaja I LAUGH IN YOUR FACE AXL ROSE,YOU TRANNY LOOKING BASTARD… okay I’m over it ,and swear I don’t hold  any grudges whatsoever to the band listed it above).Nirvana did truly change the face of music. It provided an opportunity for alternative rock to be value and accepted it. His music was the voice of generation X and it’s still the true embodiment of teen angst. NIRVANA will never be forgotten… may Kurt Cobain rest in peace.

Here are some pictures (no love explosion on your computer,you will have to clean it up later…) of Kurt sexy beast self, enjoy!

oh yeah just my type of men, delicious!!!

Mmm yeahhh

Oh yeah NIRVANA was a band…

WTF???

Do I even need to say more about this scrumptious sublime creature

Let’s end this with a pic I  found hilarious( why it seems as if I’m the only one?)